Monday, September 18, 2006

New Cat Fight ... but this Time Between Men

This is probably the happiest day in Ed Champion’s life. Lev Grossman, the book critic for Time Magazine and a frequent target of Ed’s, wrote about their twisted, Internet-only relationship. The article’s title is “My Mortal Enemy.

“I do, however, have an archenemy,” Lev writes in the current issue of Time.

His name is Edward Champion, or at least I assume it is. That's the name he blogs under. I've never met him. I don't know what he looks like, how old he is, or pretty much anything about him (or her?). Except that every few months he calls me an idiot on his website.

Lev, take heart. It’s actually a compliment that Ed has noticed you. And it’s not really all that unusual to be called names by Ed. He does that to nearly everyone. It’s his schtick. He can be quite mean and catty. But he’s also very funny, and that’s why he gets away with it.

And it looks like this infusion of national recognition has made Ed so happy, he’s promising to tone down his invective.

Contrary to my criticisms, I don’t think Lev Grossman is a complete tool nor a total chickenhead…….In any event, as an olive branch to Lev, he’ll be getting something nice from me soon. And I will try in the future to paint less of a Manichean picture of the man.


ed said...

Ms. Dinkelspiel:

Just because I was mentioned in TIME (and this certainly made me more than a tad giddy), this does not necessarily mean that it was "the happiest day of my life." Indeed, it would be very difficult to top September 10, 2004. Or even May 20, 2006.

Both of these were happy days, Ms. Dinkelspiel. VERY happy days. Days to perform pirouettes over. Lev Grossman, who I'm now convinced is a decent bloke, would have to do something pretty extraordinary to beat out those two dates alone.

I am also troubled by your use of the term "the happiest day of my life." This presumes that there shall be no further happy days -- that this is it, sonny. The game's up, the dice are thrown, there can be no going back. There will be no days that are happier.

I may be a mere 32, but I do happen to know that, on the whole, life gets, if not easier, then certainly better. And I must therefore reject both the terms and the direction of your argument in the strongest possible terms: if not for me, then for the sake of all humanity. It is easier, as we all know, to let the gargoyles take over, particularly in times like these when the newspapers display all manner of horrible things. It is considerably more difficult to carve an angel.

Let us carve angels here, Ms. Dinkelspiel. Let us remind ourselves that no life possesses a great pinnacle or a deep morass that can be thrown around so insouciantly in the present.

Very truly yours,

Edward Champion

A said...

OMG. very funny, Frances. love it.